You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize