You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
