it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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