I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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