as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize