My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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