I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
