i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
