never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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