Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
