You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
