id be glad to
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
