You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
