don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
