Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I faked an abortion last night.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
