Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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