hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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