Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm experimenting with sincerity
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
