we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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