Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
