I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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