Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
