Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
