its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
