dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
