Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
