honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
