A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
