if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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