Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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