Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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