i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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