SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
