Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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