I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
