I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
