not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize