I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Hippo gnu deer
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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