you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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