I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize