3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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