went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
