He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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