You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize