About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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