he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
