exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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