You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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