Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
