i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
