The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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