don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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