Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
