I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
