just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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