i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
