nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
