Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
