nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
