there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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